New Disease Discovered

The CDC has announced today the discovery of a new virus. The Canadian Keyboard Virus, named for its unusual shape, is transmitted via contact with the North American Beaver. The virus has been contained in Canada until recently, when a Georgia man visiting distant relatives in Manitoba was bitten by an infected beaver. In response to the threat of infection, the United States has closed its border with Canada, and is in the process of forcing native Canadians back to their home country. Details on the severity of the disease are scheduled to be released at a CDC press conference at their Atlanta headquarters later today.